April Target Hit!

I was a bit worried about this target, I was away for the weekend a week ago and I think I lost my tiny mind a little bit!


We go away with friends every now and again and I go with every good intention in the world of behaving myself and just drinking wine in the evenings and going out during the day and working some nice exercise calories up and sticking within my targets. Then everyone buys chocolates and cakes and crisps and leaves them open in front of me!


I swear, I'm like a crack addict set down in front of a mountain of top grade charlie!  I even brought back 2 hot cross buns that they don't sell where I live so that I could savour them!!


I am a sick puppy.


Malteasers are alright though right? Right??


Anyhoo.


Got home and back onto the wagon big style.  Got into Jillian Michaels 30 day shred again - finished level 2 and did day 1 of level 3. Ouch. Back to that tomorrow *shudder*.


Have had a nice swim (learning butterfly stroke at the minute! I know!), did some exercise biking and am in the process of (with dearly beloved) doing up an old bicycle in order to start learning to ride!! I am incredibly excited by this prospect :D  I know there's going to be a bit of falling down and some scraped knees and stuff, but I don't care, I *want* to be able to ride a bike. I *will* learn to ride a bike!!


So! Weighin!  I set a target of 12 stone 7 pounds for monday and when I stepped on the scales I was pleasantly surprised by:

12 Stone 5.25 Pounds

Which was very nice indeed.

So I'm hereby setting a new target for 30th April of 12 Stone 2 Pounds.  That will get me to the threshold of a new decade of lbs (170) just in time for my 31st birthday (yikes)!

Oh, also, my leisure centre membership has changed. Which means I'm going to be able to go to the fitness suite as well as the pool. This opens up the possibility of my starting jogging.....  Interesting developments abounds!


Till next time!!


xx

Enthusiasm

I honestly can't remember the last time I have felt this excited about anything.


Apart from Christmas.  I still feel like a 4 year old when Christmas comes round and we get to put the tree and the lights and the decorations up.  Best things ever.


I digress. 


I'm excited! 


Today I have my second swimming lesson!! It's so funny, but I can feel myself reverting back to how I was when I was taking my driving lessons, or indeed when I was learning something new back at Primary school.  The eagerness to impress my teacher at the new skills, the keenness to make my body do what my brain wants it to do at the right time rather than random flailing movements . It's so exciting!


You people who have swum your whole lives probably have no idea what I'm talking about here!


I've never learned any kind of physical activity where it was necessary to control *all* parts of your body at the same time (apart from learning to drive a manual car - working the gear stick at the same time as the brake and the clutch, the day you get that down is a wondrous day my friends!). The only things I have done are walking and the odd bit of aerobics. Aerobics is hard, but to be honest what I do is more like organised flailing of body parts to music!  Swimming is something where you actually have to be aware at all times of where each part of your body is and the control that you a) currently have of it and b) what you want it to be doing next.


I have honestly never, never done that before as a conscious and sentient human being.


I'm very excited about learning to swim :)


A little note to all the P.E. teachers with chubby kids in their class who forget to bring their kit a lot (i.e. me) *THIS* is the enthusiasm that you need to tap into. *THESE* are the feelings that you should be instilling into those kids.  Not shame at the fact that those kids weren't able to do these things before now for what reason or another </rant about unsympathetic and useless P.E. teachers>

Re-evaluate

I'm having to change my way of thinking a bit.


For the last year I've been losing weight fairly steadily at an average of about 2 pounds per week (possibly less than that if I also include my weeks of holidays), but at a bmi of obese (and indeed morbidly obese) 2 pounds per week seems to be a very healthy average.  Now though I'm merely "overweight" -  granted, only by about 4 pounds, but still, for about 4 weeks now - which means that my caloric needs to lose 2lbs per week would be 1200 a day. Now, I know that I have done quite well on 1200 calories in the past (see the majority of the side bar), but, it now seems like that's going to cause my poor abused bod to think that I'm trying to starve it. So I need to change my ways.


Having done a bit of reading around the interwebs it seems to be that 1 pound per week is about the right level once you're under the magic bmi number of 30. Which is about 500 more than I have aimed for for the past year. The thought of that number of calories frightens the life out of me, the control that I exercise over my food these days is a little bit iron fisted. I know I have eaten that in the past, but the majority of the time I've been eating around 1200 - 1600 so it's not that big a deal really. I guess this is just the next step to intuitive eating and "normality".  So lets do the sum:


BMR = 655 + (4.3 x 197.5) + (4.7 x 69) - (4.7 x 30) +20% = 1687.55+20% = 2025.06 
To lose a pound a week now will be 1525.06 calories per day.


So there we go.
That will be my new daily target. And I'm not allowed to be disappointed by small losses anymore.  It doesn't take a quick amount of time to lose weight. Remember missy, it took you 29 years to put it all on, It will be ok if it take 3 years or more to take it off.


*sigh* 
I'm completely freaked out by this, really annoyed that I don't have anyone that I can talk to about it here "Oh boo hoo you, you have to eat more food than you used to waa waa waa" but hey, lets give it a couple of months and see how it goes.


Head melt 

Fluctuations f***tuations

Ok, so I know I'm not perfect. 


On times when I feel like it I have desserts and I overindulge in my portion size. When I'm on shifts I eat way more calories than I allow for in a day because dammit I'm awake for longer and I want to have a sandwich!!!


This week, my weight has been going bananas. Absolutely freaking bananas.


I know, I know what you're thinking, "LRD, you're a naughty girl, you're not supposed to be weighing yourself every day!! This is exactly the kind of behaviour that you read about in other peoples blogs and you know messes with peoples heads!"


ME: "Oh yeah, well, you smell!"


Yeah I know, bad behaviour, but it's something I've always done.  I weigh myself 2 times a day to make sure that everything is on track. Once before bed and once first thing in the morning (it's kinda fun to see how much you lose overnight just sleeping).  


On monday I did my official weighin and hit 200.5lbs - so near and yet so far to the next little target - and was quite pleased with that given the amount of partying and so on that has been happening over the past few weeks.


Tuesday I stepped on the scale - 204lbs.
Wednesday - 206lbs!!!!!  What the actual f**k!!!???


This morning I stepped on to the scale and she's sitting at 201.5lbs.  It's insane! I can only assume that it's because I have been partying over the past few weeks and it takes a little bit of a while for the gain that I earned to settle in and make itself known.  (gah) Also I went out for dinner with dearly beloved on Saturday night which although very nice, wasn't worth a 4lb gain!


So anyway, just felt the urge to have a minor rant about how crap my body is behaving. I have only got a month left before the wedding that I started all this nonsense for in the first place. 


I tried on the dress that I bought for it last night. I really hope I'm retaining a water butt. It just doesn't look right. I will be very disappointed.


Well anyway.  I have - to combat the fluctation monster - picked up my water intake again as that had gone to the wayside a little and trying to get back into logging my food properly. I had started guesstimating a little too much for my taste. 


Funny really, it seems that that 100lb loss mark is a bit of a brick wall for a lot of people.  Really need to get to that point and re-evaluate and start afresh like you've not lost anything at all yet I think.


I am now a 200lb person that needs to lose 50lbs, not a 300lb person that needs to lose 150lbs. It's a whole new identity and a whole new approach.


Ok this has turned into a ramble. Time for another cup of coffee.

Shopping with the norms.

Yesterday I had a bizarre and wonderful experience.  


I decided to go shopping yesterday to try on some clothes, see how I'm doing, and maybe get some things for the summer time as all of my light T-shirts are all a size 22-24 and hang on me like a tablecloth.


So, in I went to Evans wearing my size 18 jeans and my size 20 black vest and had a look around.  First thing I noticed was the amount of large prints and long tunics that appear to be in fashion this year.  I hate large prints.  Long tunics are ok, but they do kinda drown me given how tall I am, it makes me look like I'm wrapped in a blanket.  Anyway, I digress.  Feeling brave I picked up a pair of size 16 lycra assisted (thank god for lycra!) bootcut jeans.  I also picked up 2 size 16 t-shirts and headed for the changing rooms. 


"Lets have a look and see how far I have to go to get into these bad boys" I was thinking.


Guess what.....  They only bloody fit!!  


Size 16 jeans! And size 16 t-shirts!  I was absolutely elated! I've never jumped up and down in a changing room for joy before, normally when i jump up and down in a changing room it's to try and pull a pair of jeans up over my bum!!!!!


I'm still high about it as you can possibly tell.


Then the tops, THEY FIT TOO!!! Can you believe it!? I'm officially a size 16 on top!  I am not yet counting the size 16 bottoms as evans jeans tend to be quite forgiving, plus they're a nice cut and have a bit of stretch to them, so anything linen or with no give in them will be far too small, but still.  I'm happy :)


So.  As I walking into the town I noticed H&M. A shop that I have honestly never ever been in as it only does sizes up to 16/18


I WENT IN!


I TRIED STUFF ON!


I DECIDED WHAT TO BUY BASED ON WHAT I LIKED AND NOT JUST WHAT THEY HAD IN MY SIZE!!!!!


These are feelings that people who have never had a weight problem will just never feel.


I was walking past Gap and I got a lump in my throat as I realised "Oh my god, I can go in there and actually look now!"


I'm absolutely delighted, as you can possibly tell :)


Roll on the summer holidays :D

Late Shifts and Feeling Better

As you know, I have had a few weeks off from being as good as I could be with regards my food and my exercise. 

To try to make up for it a little I did my DVD today before I headed into work today - almost made myself late! 

I feel really quite bad, because I found the DVD quite difficult!!! It has not been *that* long since I've done it really, but it seems like it  :D

Anyway, I did it, and I did it without taking a break inbetween the different sections. So that was nice.

I'm on one of my late late shifts in work tonight, which I find quite difficult these days cause it ends up throwing my internal body clock completely out of whack.  It's currently 1.30am BST and i'm bloody starving!

I had a ready meal for my dinner tonight for the first time in ages.  Tesco Macaroni and Cheese - 410 calories.. Wasn't awful.  Would have preferred something cooked for me by my boyfriend, but at a pinch and when i'm being far too lazy to do it for myself then it will do nicely :D

Screwing up my stats

I'm a big cheater once a month you know, when I know that my period is the reason that my numbers haven't gone down I refuse to do my weighin and record it cause it's just going to ruin all my graphs.

I don't want to see an upwards spike when Iknow for sure that I haven't done anything wrong!!

I did a little weigh in this morning (5am as i'm on an early shift in work) and it looked to me like i had gone up by 3 quarters of a pound.  That's just not possible.  I am slap bang in the middle of my period at the moment, and I think my weight has varied by about 4 pounds over the course of the week.  I really, really hate this time of the month and even though I know it's coming I still expect to be able to get through it without the normal hormonal variations! 

I suppose this is an example of when it would be good to only do monthly or 2 weekly weighins.

It's not a big deal! This time next week it will have all levelled itself out and you'll be right back on track again!

I'm still not putting it on the graph. It'll make it go all bumpy :(

Weigh Day and the importance of exercise.

If I keep this up (i definitely will be on twitter) you'll discover that monday is my #weighin day.

This morning I was delighted to see a 4 pound loss on my happy scale to take me down to 16 stone 9 and a half pounds.  I started on 21 stone 9 pounds, so I am just half a pound away from a total 5 stone loss!!! I can hardly believe it sometimes really :D

I'd like to take a few minutes to talk about the exercise i did today.

I try to do at least 30 minutes of activity every working day (4 days a week) which means i do a 30 minute walk at lunch time.  Even if that is just to the shop and back :)  On my days off shift I try to do more.

Today was the first day in a week that I've had a day off to be able to do my exercises.  THAT WAS DIFFICULT!! When I last did my DVD it felt like something that I had it sorted and that I could do it and enjoy it every single day.  Then I had a week with no shift day off with no access to anything more than my walk at lunch time.  Today I did 30 minutes aerobics and 30 minutes callisthenics and then 45 minutes of exercise bike and now I feel so good! It took a bit of effort to get going but I did it and I'm so glad I did!

It is so important to keep your activity levels up! your metabolism will thank you for it.  It really really will. Also it helps save you from too much excess skin and wobbly bits!

Hope you're all having a really good day today!  Here's to target day!

My work so far.

Ok, here we go, this might be a long one.

I am 29 years old and I have been a big lassie my entire life.  At age 13 I was 13 stone, 14 I was 14 stone, 15....well you see where i'm going with this. 

Anyway, the straw that broke it for me was 21 stone 9 pounds.

Last year a family member broke the news that there was to be a wedding in the family in 2011.  Fear gripped my body like a vice. "OH NO!!!! A family wedding! With another family!! A skinny family!"

I've been to my fair share of weddings this past few years and I've not been terribly pleased with any of the photographs of me that came from them (how could I be, they didn't just make me look fat - they made me like how i actually look - a million times worse!) so the thought of having to get dressed up for an occasion with people that I don't know very well and looking like the elephant in the room really didn't fill me with pleasure (which i should have felt for the occasion itself!!)

So on the 28th July 2010 I stepped onto my little bathroom scale (bought especially because it went up to the biiiiig numbers) and saw the reading. 

21 Stone 9 pounds exactly.

Prime for heart attacks and diabetes. 

Super.

Now what?!

Well, here's what I did.

I have a wonderful smart phone. It's an HTC hero.  The best part about it however are the little applications  that you can download from the "Android Marketplace" (by the way, I'm not sponsored by anyone, i'm just telling you what I did!).  The application that i credit with saving my life is one called Kilo.  All it is, is a way to mark down how many calories you eat in a day. Yes, a pen and a piece of paper would probably work exactly the same way, but I'm a child of technology! This way I have it all within my favourite little toy in my pocket all the time!

I have always known that there is nothing medically wrong with me in regards to my weight. I am not "big boned" nor do I have a "slow metabolism" and I certainly don't have a glandular problem. I am just greedy! I eat too much too often and it was that that had to stop.

(Told you I wasn't a writer didn't I? - ramblin' roads! Anyway, carrying on).

So, I decided to start counting calories and to not stop until that blumin' wedding!  I started out at about 1800 and quickly decided that that was far too many, so these days i tend to fluctuate between 1200 and 1500 per day hoping to maintain a 2 lb loss per week.

It seems to be working as i'm now sitting at 16 stone 13 and a half pounds!

*happy face*