Christmas is coming LRD is only a little bit fat

Hello!

It's been a while since I've felt the need to express myself on this as I've been messing about a little bit more on http://www.Myfitnesspal.com a bit more recently.  Nothing terribly exciting, just acting like I know what I'm talking about and generally being a bit of a pain in the arse.  

However, I weighed in today and felt the need to talk a bit about it.

I've been hovering about the 13 stone mark for a wee while now - I was beginning to wonder if it was going to be a finish mark for me. I'm pretty happy with my body at the moment. It does everything that I'm asking it to do on a regular basis and the fact that I have to tighten the seat belt on an airplane seat now just tickles me to death :D

This morning I stepped onto the scale after a pretty good couple of weeks drinking and eating and partying for the festive season. Fairly confident in the knowledge that I really didn't deserve a loss.  Hoping that it hadn't gone up too much.

12 Stone 11.75 Pounds

Can you believe that? 

I have left my weighin for a couple of weeks since the snowboarding escapades as my muscles had swollen and put on about half a stone of water weight (period week too) so I decided to leave it.

I've still been counting calories, but I've not been jumping on the scale morning and night for a while now. It's quite weird to feel yourself changing habits.

Anyway, another thing I've done now is I've upped my calories and decreased my defecit again.

Isn't that a beautiful thing? "Marginally overweight"  I would have given my right arm for this point back at the beginning! 

Anyway, that number means that eating a 1lb a week calorie deficit number nowadays would be far too little to keep up a healthy metabolism. (If what I've read on the fitness forums are to be believed) Plus, I want to start learning to eat like a normal human being now and a few more calories to play with are a good thing.

So, I have a limit of 1750 per day, I exercise as often as I can throughout the week and do my best to eat back all the calories that I earn from that.

We'll see how much damage I do over Christmas, but it's nice to flirt with the 170's for the end of the year :  179.75lbs!

If I don't post again I wish everyone a very very Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Seasons Greetings etc, but most of all a peaceful, prosperous and healthy 2012!

Monday, monday.

Hello all!  This post will be rubbish, feel free to ignore it.


It's Monday again and that means that it's weighin day!


Had a mad day yesterday. I think I went a little bit barmy and decided to eat everything that I could possibly find in the house after eating a massive dinner.


I think I managed to stay under my calorie goal, but red wine and chocolate was a nice wee addition to my day.


Anyway, stepped on the scales today and found:


13 Stone 4 pounds


woo! That's a 2.5lb loss this week.  Very nice indeed :D Feeling very happy with that.


week in review has shown:

Monday - 195
Tuesday - 294
Wednesday - 114
Thursday - 20
Friday - 248
Saturday - 521
Sunday - 41


Which has given me an additional deficit of : 1433


added to my 3500 profile setting 


doesn't add up to 2.5 pounds, but I think my time of the month added to that this week.


Anyway.


I've set myself my goal of 6.5lbs for the next month - hopefully I'll be able to meet that, but I know that there's a few parties and drinkies to go to in the meantime.  Which might screw me over a wee bit. I just have to remember at this stage of my weightloss that I'm in it for the long haul.  It's no longer a race to get to the finish line. I always know that if I mess up a little bit I can readjust and sort it out.


Having said that, I really, really want to get to goal!


I need to keep on top of my workouts and make sure that I don't slip with my eating and drinking.  It's too important.

Back from the land of bread and cheese

Remember how I was worried about going on holiday and going a bit mental (I may have only voiced this worry on twitter) with my eating and drinking and screwing up a load of good work and I was intending on being really good and doing loads of walking and behaving myself?


Yeah, that kinda didn't happen......


Did you know, that the bread and cheese and wine and ice cream in Italy is nicer than any others in the entire world?


I KNOW!!!


Insane.


It is though.


Let me tell you about the Amarena Cherry, and how it makes me eat ice cream in a way that is deserving of the worst ice cream headaches in the world.


http://7streetmarketplace.com/Amarena-Fabbri-Wild-Cherries-in-Heavy/M/B004TSU3RE.htm?traffic_src=GB&utm_medium=CSE&utm_source=GB&id=uk

These little bad boys here.


They are the most delicious sour cherries preserved in a glorious sugary syrup that tickles your taste buds in a way that I can only describe as heavenly.  You pop the cherry at the front of your mouth and let the sour juice and the sweet syrup flow down your tongue to the back of your throat and just savour every miraculous second of it.


*ahem*


sorry, got a bit carried away there.


Anyway, I had a fair few of those.....


The majority of any exercise I did was overwhelmed by the utterly delicious food and wine that I drank in copious quantities.


So I do feel a little bit guilty now, however, I feel so much more relaxed about everything weight loss related now. I had been going a little bit mental about it all just before the holiday. Constantly tracking and reading and thinking about what I was going to be eating the rest of the week.


I have put a few pounds on this week (I think I'm going to skip official weigh in this Monday and just weigh in on target day - 31st October) but I've put myself on a week of maintenance 1200 calories to try to calm myself down. Remind myself that I don't need to sit in the kitchen all night slicing up a block of Manchego cheese into slivers devouring it on water biscuits.


I am glad to be home and back in control now though.  It makes me feel good that I know that I can go away and indulge myself for a week and then come home and get right back to good habits again. I know for a fact that in the past I would have carried on being that indulgent in the past and undone *months* of good.

Food addiction

I apologise in advance cause this is going to be a ramble.


I've been back from the "Weekend of Indulgence"(TM) for a week and a half now. That week was supposed to have been spent on 1200 calories.


I think I maybe managed that two days out of seven - and that was only because I did a buttload of exercise that day.


Anyway, I was averaging about 1700 calories a day, which is ok as it's still below my current maintenance level.


This weekend however - though I still stuck to 1700 roughly each day - was really hard.  I was having some serious food addict cravings.  I really broke my resolve on that weekend away. Having biscuits and crisps and doughnuts and cake and all those kinds of things just on hand has kind of broken all of my will power.


I had had my lunch yesterday (a really nice cashew butter and banana sandwich seeing as you asked) and as I was finishing the last mouthful of it I had the old feeling of disappointment that the food was gone and that that was the only thing that I had had. 


Why had I had this sandwich instead of a ham sandwich? 
Is it really going to be 5 hours before I get to eat anything else today? 
Why don't we just have another sandwich and top off the tummy nicely?
If you could only make yourself sick now you could go and get something else as well!!! (DANGER, DANGER, DANGER!)


Thankfully I've never crossed into bulimia territory (ok, maybe once when I ate a cookie that I instantly regretted - but only once I swear), my problem was I liked to binge and forgot to purge at the end! 


Anyway, I caught myself thinking old thoughts of "is that all??" and really had to fight myself to not go into the kitchen and snack on plain tortillas and ham and whatever other sandwich making ingredients I could dig out of the fridge just to fight off the boredom.


I knit the entire back of a sweater to keep myself from doing something stupid :)


So in a way I'm quite pleased with myself that I managed to avoid it, but I am worried that the old, old feelings can come back so easily.


I watched myself (2 weekends ago) eating an entire bag of cheese kettle crisps. Crisp after crisp after crisp. Not even a single person bag, one of those grab bags that you're supposed to share among 6 people. I ate that whole thing. Sitting in a room with 12 other people I sat and ate that whole damn thing like a proper food addict.  So I guess this weekend was my brain going 
"Well why was it ok that weekend but not this weekend??"


BECAUSE IT ISN'T! 


Because I'm 14stone 4.75lbs and I want to be 10 stone 10lbs (may not ever actually happen, but dammit I'm not going to let a big bag of crisps totally derail me)


Because the target date that I actually started this stuff for is less than a month away now and I won't let my stupid brain ruin everything now!


*sigh*


Stupid addict brain.


I was hoping that the addiction would move at least a bit from food to exercise like it seems to have for a lot of other people who blog about this kind of thing. 


Still waiting.

Fluctuations f***tuations

Ok, so I know I'm not perfect. 


On times when I feel like it I have desserts and I overindulge in my portion size. When I'm on shifts I eat way more calories than I allow for in a day because dammit I'm awake for longer and I want to have a sandwich!!!


This week, my weight has been going bananas. Absolutely freaking bananas.


I know, I know what you're thinking, "LRD, you're a naughty girl, you're not supposed to be weighing yourself every day!! This is exactly the kind of behaviour that you read about in other peoples blogs and you know messes with peoples heads!"


ME: "Oh yeah, well, you smell!"


Yeah I know, bad behaviour, but it's something I've always done.  I weigh myself 2 times a day to make sure that everything is on track. Once before bed and once first thing in the morning (it's kinda fun to see how much you lose overnight just sleeping).  


On monday I did my official weighin and hit 200.5lbs - so near and yet so far to the next little target - and was quite pleased with that given the amount of partying and so on that has been happening over the past few weeks.


Tuesday I stepped on the scale - 204lbs.
Wednesday - 206lbs!!!!!  What the actual f**k!!!???


This morning I stepped on to the scale and she's sitting at 201.5lbs.  It's insane! I can only assume that it's because I have been partying over the past few weeks and it takes a little bit of a while for the gain that I earned to settle in and make itself known.  (gah) Also I went out for dinner with dearly beloved on Saturday night which although very nice, wasn't worth a 4lb gain!


So anyway, just felt the urge to have a minor rant about how crap my body is behaving. I have only got a month left before the wedding that I started all this nonsense for in the first place. 


I tried on the dress that I bought for it last night. I really hope I'm retaining a water butt. It just doesn't look right. I will be very disappointed.


Well anyway.  I have - to combat the fluctation monster - picked up my water intake again as that had gone to the wayside a little and trying to get back into logging my food properly. I had started guesstimating a little too much for my taste. 


Funny really, it seems that that 100lb loss mark is a bit of a brick wall for a lot of people.  Really need to get to that point and re-evaluate and start afresh like you've not lost anything at all yet I think.


I am now a 200lb person that needs to lose 50lbs, not a 300lb person that needs to lose 150lbs. It's a whole new identity and a whole new approach.


Ok this has turned into a ramble. Time for another cup of coffee.