Fluctuations f***tuations

Ok, so I know I'm not perfect. 


On times when I feel like it I have desserts and I overindulge in my portion size. When I'm on shifts I eat way more calories than I allow for in a day because dammit I'm awake for longer and I want to have a sandwich!!!


This week, my weight has been going bananas. Absolutely freaking bananas.


I know, I know what you're thinking, "LRD, you're a naughty girl, you're not supposed to be weighing yourself every day!! This is exactly the kind of behaviour that you read about in other peoples blogs and you know messes with peoples heads!"


ME: "Oh yeah, well, you smell!"


Yeah I know, bad behaviour, but it's something I've always done.  I weigh myself 2 times a day to make sure that everything is on track. Once before bed and once first thing in the morning (it's kinda fun to see how much you lose overnight just sleeping).  


On monday I did my official weighin and hit 200.5lbs - so near and yet so far to the next little target - and was quite pleased with that given the amount of partying and so on that has been happening over the past few weeks.


Tuesday I stepped on the scale - 204lbs.
Wednesday - 206lbs!!!!!  What the actual f**k!!!???


This morning I stepped on to the scale and she's sitting at 201.5lbs.  It's insane! I can only assume that it's because I have been partying over the past few weeks and it takes a little bit of a while for the gain that I earned to settle in and make itself known.  (gah) Also I went out for dinner with dearly beloved on Saturday night which although very nice, wasn't worth a 4lb gain!


So anyway, just felt the urge to have a minor rant about how crap my body is behaving. I have only got a month left before the wedding that I started all this nonsense for in the first place. 


I tried on the dress that I bought for it last night. I really hope I'm retaining a water butt. It just doesn't look right. I will be very disappointed.


Well anyway.  I have - to combat the fluctation monster - picked up my water intake again as that had gone to the wayside a little and trying to get back into logging my food properly. I had started guesstimating a little too much for my taste. 


Funny really, it seems that that 100lb loss mark is a bit of a brick wall for a lot of people.  Really need to get to that point and re-evaluate and start afresh like you've not lost anything at all yet I think.


I am now a 200lb person that needs to lose 50lbs, not a 300lb person that needs to lose 150lbs. It's a whole new identity and a whole new approach.


Ok this has turned into a ramble. Time for another cup of coffee.