The monthly blahs

So, you remember that guilt that I was feeling on Tuesday? 


That I wasn't going to have time to do any exercise?


See when Friday rolled around?  All that guilt was looooong gone.  


I did really very well on Thursday, I got up at stupid o'clock and I went and I had my half hour swim, followed by a less than relaxing sauna - There were two people in there talking about going to see the housing benefit people to talk about their change of address following their eviction from their previous address. (me thinks "oh god, how long do I sit here pretending not to listen to them before I can leave and not look rude!" - first world problems, anyway) 


When I got home I did my exercise bike for an hour while I was still in the mood for it, so burnt a pretty hefty number of calories. 


Friday on the other hand.  I felt like someone had stuffed my head full of smooshy big pillows. No amount of caffeine was going to fix it. So I forced myself through an hours worth of aerobics and toning. Blooooody awful.


I'm surprised I didn't pull a muscle in my shoulder/arms as I was using my little hand weights and my form was so poor!


However, I have made it through to Sunday, I drank half a bottle of wine last night and I'm feeling pretty good. I think I will go swimming tomorrow to see if I can push through this funk.


Ain't being a girl great?!

Small Hiatus and the current #weighin

Hello World, I've returned!


It's been a strange couple of weeks for me.  I had been trucking along very nicely, very pleased with all of the results that I've been getting to the point of worrying about becoming complacent and stopping too soon before achieving the lofty goals that I've set for myself (i want to lose a total of 10 stone 10 pounds (153 pounds) all in all).


Then i got last months period - or rather then I got the PMT associated with last months period.  Dear lord, I have never experienced a depression quite like it in my life.  Now don't get me wrong, I (thankfully) do not suffer from depression (clinical or otherwise) and would never play down the effect that that has on a person, but this hit of PMT made me feel worse about myself than I ever remember feeling even at my 303 pound worst!


I stopped counting calories, I stopped exercising, I made a cake for my friend who was visiting and I ate some rubbish for about 3 weeks.  Thankfully when I stepped on the scale each week (cause my crazyass brain wouldn't allow me to stop checking that every week) I hadn't done too much damage and just stalled at the 224 pound mark for a month.  


This week, finally I came out from under the dark cloud of a month long PMT to my loving bf who coped admirably with the miserable cow who kidnapped his girlfriend this month and I feel a lot better now!


I weighed in yesterday to show that at last I've broken through the 16 stone barrier (despite a barbecue at my parents house on saturday night  - yes it is march, I just love barbecues :D) and am at 15 stone 12 and a half. Not long to go to the next half stone award!  Think I'll buy myself a new wardrobe for my holiday when I hit that :)


Glad to be out from under the cloud!


xxx