Ever get really mad at youself in the past?
I have today.
Today I took myself to the pool for my second go at "swimming". I put that in inverted commas because there is no way you could call what I do at the pool swimming. It's about one step up from floundering like an injured seal. I swear, if the sharks could make it to the swimmers here then I would be munched like a great big main course!
I digress.
I never took swimming lessons as a small kid - I don't want to blame my weight on my folks, but I do kinda resent the fact that they didn't teach me to do stuff like this when I was little (swimming, riding a bicycle, any kind of musical instrument) - and when we did have access to a pool in secondary school (age 11+) I already had weight and self confidence issues that meant that I sat out more often that not (anyone else have their period about 3 times a month as soon as they figured out you could get out of swimming class?). Then one week they made me swim into the deep end - in the middle lane of the pool - and as you would expect, I panicked and had to get rescued by a guy who to be honest, I wasn't terribly keen on and didn't really want to owe my ridiculous teenage life to. So I decided that swimming was shite and I was having none of it.
Today I'm really angry with myself for not trying harder. I'm angry that I wasn't taken to a pool when I was little and developed a love of the water - or at least the ability to get water up my nose without panicking like a small child.
Welll I'm going to stick with it. I want to be able to swim in the sea next November and by jingo I'm bloody well going to!! There's adult swimming lessons (lessons for big people - not pervy ones) starting at my local pool in September and I'm going to go!! I will make sure I have that evening off from work for as long as it takes to make me able to swim!
This won't beat me.
Stupid past self.
I'll show you!
No comments:
Post a Comment