The Problem with Shapewear

Ok, so, I've tried my new suckyin pants.

I'm not terribly impressed.

I always get the feeling that shapewear pants are made for people with the tiny teeny lumps and bumps that I'll be honest with you don't show up that much anyway and all you're doing in putting a bit of scaffolding up to make sure nothing shifts about too much.

Sadly I do not fall into that category. I actually need my shapewear to do the following things:

1) Help my waistline look like the hourglass that my shape actually is (who knew?!)

2) Not cut in to my thunder thighs - I can't wear the body suit/thigh slimmer type ones because they sit on a wonderful bit of the thigh I like to call "That bloody bit there!" and I end up with a line under my clothes. Two lines actually. On my Thighs. Usually at different heights.  Not strong.

3) They need to stay up!!! There is nothing worse than feeling your big pants rolling down your back.  The ettiquette of when to pop out to the bathroom to pull your frock over your head to pull up your pants is something that I don't think they teach in finishing school. Maybe Gok Wan has some suggestions?

4) Speaking of Gok! I got an underslip one of his a while ago, those ones (on me I hasten to add) DON'T STAY DOWN!!! So I ended up with my "Thigh slimming Slip Underwear" up round my waist and backside thus adding an extra michelin man style tyre just wanted it to sod off from.

5) Finally, and the main point of this blog. Who would buy underwear that cuts them at the hip? Just at that bit where your knickers sit on your leg. Where your leg starts.

 I'll tell you who, apparently me! The brand new BodyWrap ultimate tum sucker pants have got the elastic from hell around the tops of your thighs, thus adding what my dearly beloved called "A new bumpy bit on the side" on your brand new shapely sillouhette!!! AAAAAAARRRRRRGH!!!!!! So that's those relegated till I firm up these wobbly bits then.....




*Deep healing breath, deep healing breath*


Anyway.


My recommendation to you lovely people who, like me, need a wee bit of help now that you've lost some weight and are not as toned as some people is the Marks and Spencers Ultimate Magic Body Define Waist Cincher:

Sucky in knickers 

They have a good high waist to them, they stay up, they don't come down to the thigh so no rings round the legs and they have a nice soft edge where they meet your legs so there's no harsh elastic cutting in to your hip joint.

Now if they'd just add an extra bit of suckyin-ness to the lower abdominal region I would be laughing!!

21 days to go till my pretty dress. Better start doing crunches I guess.......

1, 2, 3, 4........ow